But as for you, ye thought evil against me;
but God meant it unto good…"
Genesis 50:20
What Christian doesn't want revival?
Notice the last word…BROKENNESS.
Who wants to be broken?
Notice the last word…BROKENNESS.
Who wants to be broken?
These were my prayers.
The good. The bad. The ugly.
Little did I know it would be my husband that would be removed from the Academy and later me after 18 long years of pouring my heart, soul, time, and prayers into this ministry.
My ministry.
In August, I was
hit with betrayal in my marriage.
My heart was broken.
My spirit crushed.
I was ready to run.
I was ready to run.
Somewhere far.
Far away.
Where could I run?
September. October. November.
Broken.
No more writing.
No more words.
Just tears.
During this time, I continued my devotions without prayer entries.
I cried countless tears to God.
Why? Why? Why?
Why? Why? Why?
I was in a dark place.
A pit.
All I could hear was hate the sin,
love the sinner.
In September, we left our church home.
I dreaded this decision,
but knew it was a necessity
in order not to be reminded of the sin
that had crippled my marriage.
In October, my dad painted
a pretty picture of escape.
Move to Hico.
Get a fresh start.
This sounded so good.
This sounded so good.
Run. I can run!
Still vulnerable.
I began to dream.
I shared my dream.
Something I regret.
Joseph's dreams got him
Joseph's dreams got him
thrown in a pit by his brothers.
In November, healing began.
I was gripping the edge of the pit.
I could breathe again.
No running necessary.
No running necessary.
Hope.
I can do this.
I can stay.
God wants me here.
December came. Entries began.
I began to prepare for Spirit Week.
A week of revival.
Theme. Joseph the Dreamer.
What a week!
Peace. Joy. Purpose.
Hope. Love.
Healing.
Satan couldn't allow this.
He didn't.
Betrayal again.
This time within my ministry.
In the fall, I shared my dreams.
The possibility of moving.
I was open. Honest.
It only back fired.
In January, I was offered a teaching position; but not a coordinating position.
My job was given to someone else.
What do I do now?
Once again.
Broken. Crushed.
This time I didn't stop writing.
I held on.
As tight as I could.
In February, I was becoming bitter.
I didn't want to let go of
the ministry I loved.
Push. Push. Push.
Satan was pushing with all he had.
February 14, 2014.
Hardest decision I ever made.
I walked away.
My first love.
My ministry.
Since fall 1996.
Right out of high school.
I cried.
I mourned.
March is ending.
He hears me.
He answers me.
He carries me.
He strengthens me.
He has a purpose for me.
Hold on.
Believe.
Joseph the Dreamer.
An overcomer.
I want to be an overcomer.
To forgive as he has forgiven.
To dream again.
To love again.
His will not mine!
Dear Christians,
Don't be fooled.
You're not alone.
We all fall in pits.
Just like Joseph.
Hang on.
Believe.
Overcome!
Amen!
Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
ReplyDeleteThis is the verse I look to. I want to be like Jospeh. Even more like Christ!
DeleteGreat! Stay focused on the entire book of 'Sarah' yet to be completed; not just the current chapter(s). Use your experiences (regardless of what they are) to "save many". And "speak kindly" to and about those who've wronged you. God bless you Sarah. Press on for The Lord.
ReplyDeleteSarah, from the moment I met you last summer, the Lord had me praying for you constantly. Being new to the school and not knowing you, I kept it to myself, but talked to my husband frequently about it. I'd say regularly "I don't even know her, but I am supposed to be praying for her today." I happened upon your blog today and I am so glad I obeyed even though I didn't understand. I hope in some way it helped you. I will keep lifting you and your family up in prayer. I'm excited to read about your homeschooling adventures!
ReplyDeleteVictoria, I have no doubt that your prayers has helped carry me through. I can't begin to tell you all the people that have shared the exact same words. I am so thankful to all of you that were obedient. He used your prayers to strengthen me and carry me in my time of need. Love you and big HUG!
Delete