I so badly want my heart to heal completely. I can't help but wonder how long it will take. Satan knows my weaknesses. He constantly whispers in my ear in hopes that my memories will break me. That I
will give up and let go. At times, I have considered it? Am I the only one that struggles with that?
I lack faith that my heart will one day heal completely. I patiently wait. God knows my weaknesses. He faithfully whispers in my ear in hopes that my memories with draw me closer to Him. That I will lean on Him for my strength and hang on to His promises. Am I the only one that struggles with that?
I know I'm not the only one. You are not the only one. As I was cleaning and doing laundry this morning, God whispered in my ear…consider your grandparents. When I think of my grandparents, I think of the picture perfect marriage I had seen growing up. My granddaddy adored her. Her love for him was just as strong. But was it always like that?
In a season I didn't exist, my grandparents struggled. My grandmother had walked in similar shoes as mine. I'm sure she had her night of tears. Weak in faith. Praying God would heal her broken heart. How long did she have to wait? I'm not sure, but it gives me hope. In the end, I saw I love. True love.
"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength."
Isaiah 40:31
I want this. I will wait. Strengthened by God. Holding on to my first I do.
Am I the only one?
If I'm not the only one, take a moment to share...
If I'm not the only one, take a moment to share...
No Sarah you are not the only one I struggle day to forget the things Satan brought into my marriage and we haven't even been married two years. I pray daily for my marriage to work and here lately it just doesn't seem that it's going to but I won't give up not that easy. I compare my marriage to many others all the time because I want that perfect image to. I want us to adore each other I want to get the random text a or phone calls with him pouring his heart out telling me how much he adores me. I want to forget the things that have happened but Satan always has a way of bringing them back into my mind. I love you and thank you for sharing all you do
ReplyDeleteBrandi, Just remember there is no perfect marriage. Satan wants us to believe that, but that is so untrue. Marriage is hard work. It's something that we have to work hard out and choose to keep that commitment. When I look at Woody and Regina, I think WOW. I believe she still has the divorce papers she was going to file when she was your age. What if she would have given up? I had a new friend respond to me in regards to this blog by text. She had set behind us in church and looked at us as WOW, I want that. As you know, we are far from being perfect. Love is a choice. Thank God he chose to continue to love us despite our many failures…continue to choose to forgive and love like our greatest example. Love you!
DeleteSister, there are no perfect marriages. We never know what is going on behind closed doors. People tell me all the time how me and Chris seem to have this perfect marriage. And this isn't to say that we don't get along pretty great and that I don't adore him, but we still have problems like anyone else. And it was a very long, up and down, and back and forth road that led to even this short point we are at. I've been in the same exact situation as you about wondering if you will ever be able to forget and if it will ever stop hurting. You know that Chris cheated on me when we were only still dating and 5 years later there are still days that Satan brings it to the forefront of my mind to create mistrust and insecurity. He is infamous for the "You never thought he would have back then too, how do you KNOW he isn't now". But, through Christ, we were able to overcome and have a relationship way stronger than it ever was before. Your heart WILL heal. You will be able to fully trust again. From the outside looking in, I have seen your marriage grow from those early days to now and it's inspiring. Let God show you where you've come FROM instead of how far you have left to go. Marriage is a never ending journey we'll be on for the rest of our lives. Love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the encouraging words, sister! Love you!
DeleteYou are not the only one. And, I think it is really hard (especially these days) to get a realistic picture of what others are experiencing. It can be painful when you forget that you aren't getting the whole picture. John and I have had a rough go of it before, and have almost called it quits a few times. But our commitment to God and each other prevails. It is hard work though, and sometimes a daily decision to move forward and not backward! I think there is strength in leaving a bad situation, and strength in staying, too. I admire you and am proud of you!
ReplyDelete