It’s Friday! What a week...the devil has been working over time on me this week. The more I was reading God’s Word and praying, the more he attacked. Feeling defeated, I was ready to fall, put down the Sword, and wave the white flag of surrender he is so desperately trying to capture. This week I was loosing sight of what I am fighting for.
Unfortunately, he won a majority of the battles this week. To sum it up, my husband slept on the couch one night, and I slept on the couch two nights. Fiery words were being thrown back and forth, kisses were being withheld...don’t judge, you know you’ve been there.
Don’t worry! I didn’t wave the flag as tempting as it is. He makes it seem so appealing to just walk away and give up. You know, much greener on the other side...but is it? I was guilty of looking to greener pastures. So and so divorced. Look how happy they are now. So in love. What a pretty picture of second chances they paint. But, is Satan really showing me the whole picture...
He doesn’t reveal the ugliness that comes with divorce. I am a product of a broken home. My parents both remarried. They fight with their new spouse, have nights on the couch, they shoot the fiery words, I guess you can say they are still sinners...so what’s different? I don’t know...I do know my parents were left with weekends, summers, and holidays without their children.
It’s not my place to say when enough is enough to justify divorce. So where does this leave me? Gripping my Sword. Fighting! God reminded me through the book of Joshua, be like Caleb, faithful from the start and until the very end. Although Caleb’s inherited land still had giants, he knew the Lord would help him conquer them. I still have giants in my marriage, but I claim victory in the blood of Jesus.
Back in bed where I belonged, I gave thanks to God. He began to remind me how far we have come since last fall. How he has been working on me, my husband, and my children. Yesterday, was my youngest son’s Christmas party. I volunteered to help. Unlike, last year, I brought confidence and took the classroom by storm. I carried on conversations. I even made some new FB friends...
Then there was my son...I marveled at how much he has changed. Last year, he would bring me to tears with his fits he pulled in the classroom with his very patient teacher. Leaving me in complete embarrassment when he wouldn’t follow directions, I begged her to just walk him down to the office and spank his butt. But with love, she continued to teach and train Him in Jesus' name. Yesterday, I looked on with pride as he followed his new teacher’s instructions, going station to station, taking part in the day’s Christmas festivities.
This a reminder for me to wave my SWORD as God is always at work, little by little, one small victory at a time.
“The land on which your feet have walked with be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.” Joshua 14:9
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