This year's party was nothing like last years. No professional photo shoot, no expensive or handmade Pinterest decorations, no new Etsy dress, no games with prizes, no candy bar, just a strawberry cake baked by a mother who wishes she could give her children everything, but can't.
This might sound silly, but I really struggled with not being able to afford a store bought cake. Since stepping out on faith, becoming a stay at home mom, moving to the country, husband taking a two thirds pay cut, we have really had to budget each penny carefully. No more eating out, going to the movies whenever we please, all those extras gone. Budget now is for bills, groceries, and gas. If there is something special going on, I meal plan to save those extra pennies.
Friday I found myself standing by the bakery knowing I was on a $35 budget for the 'entire' party. I stared at the pretty store bought cake. Pretty it was, but the $15 price tag not so much. I went down a little further where there was a cookie cake. It was only $8. I stood there minutes debating which one to get before putting the cookie cake into my basket. It wasn't the traditional party cake, but it would be better than anything I would bake.
I circled the store adding to my basket the needed items to make chili. Calculating in my head the entire time. I was within my budget even with the cookie cake. That was until I got to the aisle with the ice cream. Ice cream would be so good with the cookie cake, but it would put me over my budget. What to do? I knew what I needed to do. Put back the fancy cookie in exchange for the cake mix and icing that were on SALE. I would spend only $3 for the needed ingredients to bake a cake.
Saturday morning I baked what seemed like just a cake, I prayed that it wouldn't turn out like my spooktakular cupcakes. After I stared at this simple cake, I thought what is wrong me! Yes, a store bought cake would be more impressive than mine, but I would have missed out on the little joys that that came with baking it...Mom, what's that yummy smell? Can I help? Lick the bowl! Yes! Awe. The memories that can be made in a kitchen with a mother and her children. AND, there wasn't one piece of cake left over!!!
How did I get here? My grandparents baked from scratch, my parents from store bought boxes, to me wanting to keep up with the Joneses by buying a store bought cake. The pressures of the world are real. I shouldn't feel like I'm a failure because I couldn't afford to go above and beyond to impress the guest that attended my daughter's party. Because that is what I'd be doing. Impressing them not her. Catering to my pride.
Failure. That's what Satan wants. He has been so sneaky making his way into our homes. Distracting and making us too busy to see the simplicity of just being present. Tempting us with the lust of the flesh, eyes, and pride of life. In Sunday school, God spoke loudly to me through His Word. He has made us 'poor' to show us how 'rich' we truly are. Maybe my kids got more 'things' when I worked to make our budget bigger, but they had less of me.
Don't feel sorry for me or pity me. I'm happy. I now see there is so much more to this life than things. I am giving my kids everything God intended me to give. I'm giving them all of me! A full-time mother which very few kids have these days. And that is PRICELESS!
That cake was delicious and homemade cakes are so much more meaningful to me. I plan on making all my kids birthday cakes. I make Chris a treat every year. :)
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